Marriage Isn’t Random: Why I Believe God Hand-Picks Our Spouse for a Purpose
There’s a question I hear often from women in this season of life…
“Is this really what marriage is supposed to feel like?”
Between raising kids, managing a home, working, and carrying the emotional weight of everyone else, marriage can start to feel less sacred and more… heavy.
And in those moments, many begin to wonder:
Did I choose the right person?
Why does this feel harder than I expected?
Is it okay that I feel tired but still committed?
I don’t believe marriage is random.
I believe God hand-picks our spouse to shape us into who He’s calling us to become.
Marriage Was Never Meant to Be About Power
One of the biggest misconceptions we wrestle with today is that honoring your husband somehow means shrinking yourself.
That’s not biblical.
Scripture doesn’t call wives to disappear; it calls both husband and wife to mutual sacrifice.
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
— Ephesians 5:21
This verse comes before any discussion of roles or figuring out what matters most.
Marriage, when God is at the center, is not about control, dominance, or pride. It’s about two people learning how to love in ways that stretch them beyond themselves.
Loving My Husband Is a Blessing, Honoring Him Is a Calling
There are days when honoring your spouse looks easy.
And there are days when it looks like obedience.
Choosing to love, respect, and honor my husband isn’t about weakness. It’s about trust, trust that God knew what He was doing when He brought us together.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
— Proverbs 3:5
Marriage exposes our selfishness.
It reveals our impatience.
It presses on the places where we still need God. (This is a BIG one.)
And that doesn’t mean something is wrong; it means God is working.
What Women in the Messy Middle Are Really Asking
Most women aren’t asking how to have a perfect marriage.
They’re asking:
How do I stay committed when I’m exhausted?
How do I honor my spouse without losing myself?
How do we grow together instead of drifting apart?
The answer isn’t doing more.
It’s returning to the center.
When God is the foundation, marriage becomes less about keeping score and more about becoming better together.
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
— Ecclesiastes 4:12
Marriage as Refinement, Not Rescue
Your spouse was never meant to complete you… only God can do that.
But your spouse can refine you.
Marriage teaches patience.
It teaches humility.
It teaches forgiveness.
It teaches endurance.
And sometimes, it teaches us to surrender our expectations and trust God’s design, even when we don’t yet fully understand it.
If You’re in a Season of Questioning
If marriage feels heavy right now, you’re not failing.
If honoring your spouse feels hard, you’re not alone.
If you’re choosing commitment even when it costs you comfort, that matters.
God sees it.
“Let us not grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
— Galatians 6:9
Marriage isn’t random.
It’s intentional.
It’s sacred.
And when God is at the center, it has the power to shape both hearts involved.
What has marriage taught you about yourself in this season of life?